I thought a lot about where I should post the content I have on my heart in regards to pregnancy and all things baby. I realized there was no better place to share than in Modern Family Doula as it’s my mission to be a resource for all thing’s motherhood and maternity.
While I’ll continue to share my expertise of the postpartum space – it’s important to share the vulnerability of the pregnancy space as well. Because more and more – us mama’s need someone to say ‘me too’.
For someone who wanted to be pregnant more than anything, especially after a devastating miscarriage. I sure didn’t realize how much I would HATE pregnancy. I am extremely independent, efficiency focused and motivated. I’ve spent years pushing towards goals – professionally, physically – you name it! So, when pregnancy hit hard – I sunk into deep frustration. My days were spent on a couch in between naps – fighting to get the bare minimum done. Asking Ty to step up and barely being able to keep food down. I had wanted to be pregnant for so long but I found myself feeling guilty because I had many moments where I wished I wasn’t pregnant.
I had to make a huge shift in my mindset – I wasn’t going to make it through the next 7-8 months with this much negativity.
1. You have a new goal. You spent years working towards races, lifting more, getting better at the latest boutique fitness trend but now, you’ve got a new physical goal - To rest, to allow space for your body to change, pretty much the exact opposite of everything you were working towards pre-pregnancy. You have to take care of your body the best you can for the trimester you’re in. In first trimester, that means – MAKE IT. If you need to up your carbs – do it. Struggling with veggies – hide them or come to terms with the fact that now is not the time to eat them. 2. Listen to your body – it’s telling you more than you know. I had to tell myself this daily. Sometimes even hour by hour because this was a huge shift from my pre-pregnancy mindset. Nauseous and can’t workout – that is your body’s way of telling you – it’s time to take a break. Tired – find a way to go take a nap. Your body NEEDS it. Stop trying to ignore those queues. 3. This is not forever. There were days I got so lost in the darkness and crappy feelings that I forgot this wasn’t the way it was going to be forever. Sounds ridiculous – but it’s true. Sometimes you have to tell yourself, you’re not going to feel this way every single day for the rest of your life. (Conversation for another time but you’ll be telling yourself the same thing in the postpartum time as well. ) Coming out of this and heading full steam ahead into the second trimester, I don’t wish the first trimester on my worst enemy.
During my first pregnancy, I had many of these symptoms before finding out that pregnancy wasn’t viable. Going through it a second time, I often found myself saying, is this even worth it, are we even going to make it?
Whether you’ve experienced loss or just consumed by fear, I’m here to tell you those negative thoughts won’t get you anywhere. Allow them to come, and let them pass. When you need to cry, even for no reason at all, allow yourself to cry. Surround yourself with a tribe that can support you, you don’t have to go through this alone. Most importantly know, one day at a time. This is just the first of many molding moments into motherhood. Carry on sister.